[I like footy, 1,255 words, Realistic fiction/Dark Humour]

* Image courtesy of Martin Rumsby

Greg grew up on the Gold Coast, along that strip along the northeastern part of Australia. He grew up as most blokes do. Going to high school and watching rugby league.

He was a big bloke, he would grow up to be over six feet tall. So, as was the natural progression when one took an interest in a sport he decided to join his local rugby club. That’s where he met his friends. Through the games, through mateship and camaraderie, they battled it out on the rugby field. Making tackles and tries, Greg was a fine player. After the games Greg and the rest of the rugby team would all get drunk together and wreak havoc on the local community. Running riot and having fun, they would drive on field paddocks of local farms. Tearing up the paddocks and learning to drive. They would talk about all of the things that they wanted to do in the future, some of them wanted to establish businesses of their own, others would be taking over their already established family businesses. Some of them were destined for the big time as they concentrated on the perfection of the craft within the sport.

They would talk about the other teenagers at school; the geeks, the nerds, the gay ones and the misfits. They would laugh about all of the stupid shit that they were doing and came to the conclusion that they would never amount to anything, either that or die before they reached their thirties, through suicide or drug abuse.

At school they would be sure to let them know it. Teasing those kids who didn’t belong in their exclusive vision of the world. The girls would swoon as they marked their territory as leaders of the pack. They would laugh with each other as they pissed off all the teachers and teased the other kids.

Mind you, that wasn’t all of them. But Greg, Greg enjoyed these perverse pleasures as he took a particular delight in the cruel torture of others. He would stand over kids and then play with their hair, just to ensure that they knew that they were his property now.

As the other rugby players noticed this behaviour in Greg they began to distance themselves. Not all of them were like Greg, not all of them took proactive pleasure in the torture of others. And slowly over time the other players realized that there was something wrong with Greg. He wasn’t like them. He was cruel and perverse. But they all enjoyed the sport and for that they forgave him.

There was one thing that they enjoyed about Greg more than anything else. And that was his distaste for Australian Rules Football. “That’s a sport for faggots and retards,” he would rant whenever the subject was brought up, “Rugby league is where it’s at. I would never play that stupid sport. It’s for dickheads from Victoria. All of those faggots down there in Melbourne.” All of his teammates would laugh and toast beers with him whenever you got him talking about that subject.

As they grew up, they matured and found themselves partners. They all matured and grew up, beginning to focus on their life goals. All of them except for Greg. You see Greg enjoyed everything so much about high school. The ability to kick down on the other kids in classes, the bitching about Aussie Rules Football and the night’s binge drinking and running riotous mayhem through the neighbourhood that he never changed. He just kept on doing the same thing. With one exception, he found himself a partner. As to his immature disposition there were problems.

They would spend most nights watching the television, Rugby League, of course, and Greg would have a beer in hand as he would yell at the television, somehow expecting that this would change the result of the matches. Every time he wanted another beer, he could not be arsed to get it for himself and asked his partner, Sue, to get it for him.

Sue didn’t know what to do. Whenever they attended the local games that they played. The partners of the other players would all ignore her and she would be left sitting on the sidelines watching the games by herself. She was locked up in her own private form of hell. The other players ignored Greg for the most part. He had become the worst player on the team, those nights of drinking XXXX watching the television had given him a beer gut. He hardly exercised anymore, he worked some shitty job in a hardware store where he managed a group of teenagers who ran the service desk. They all disliked him and made jokes behind his back, saying things like, “He’s no longer packing the six pack, he’s got a full keg there.” Remarks like that on his physical appearance became commonplace as the years wore down in upon him.

His partner, Sue, attempted to get him back into the gym. He was a fine looking man when they had met, but now, she hardly even recognized him. What made matters worse was that Sue took care of her own physical appearance. With nothing else to do because all of the other player’s partners hated her and Greg. She would find herself in the gym most days as Greg found himself at work. This caught the attention of the other players as they would all secretly sneak a glimpse of her physical upkeep.

That’s how it started. With sideways glances. Those sideways glances slowly turned into something more. They were all pissed off with Greg. He wasn’t performing well on the field, he kept on making errors during the games. And meanwhile Sue would flirt with the other players, a little bit to spite Greg, mostly because the players’ partners despised both Sue and Greg.

It happened one night. After a game. The other players approached Sue behind Greg’s back with the offer to make a video. And that night all of the players and Sue participated in a gangbang and videotaped the whole thing. It was a one time event. It started off as a blow bang and erupted into a gangbang with Sue as the star.

When Greg found out he was devastated. He was in tears. He couldn’t believe that his teammates would do this to him. Least of all could he believe that Sue would participate in such an act. When Greg approached his fellow teammates about the whole incident, they all told him to go fuck himself, he was a shit player and a shitty person.

Greg didn’t know what to do with himself. He couldn’t stay in town, he couldn’t live with himself in this condition. Needless to say the relationship with Sue was over. He felt humiliated and distraught. He packed up his things, packed them all in a truck and headed down south.

He ended up in Melbourne. With his previous experience as a retail manager, he found a job. Now in his thirties without a friend in the world. He would attend the local pub and drink himself blotto over the weekends. All they would play on the television in those pubs were the local Australian Rules Football games.

One day one of the other attendees of the bar struck up a conversation with him. It went like this, “Hey, do you like footy?”

Greg, changing his mind in consideration of everything that had happened, replied, “Yeah, I like footy.”


Arie de Bruyn Born in Sandringham, Melbourne, Victoria (Australia) on the 15th January 1987. Son of Alison and Dirk de Bruyn. Youngest sibling to Kees and Abram de Bruyn. Diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 22. Holds a bachelor degree from Deakin University in Arts (Media & Communication). Attended several high schools. Has lived and worked internationally in New Delhi, India; and Thailand. Currently resides in Geelong, Victoria, Australia. Written several books and self-published them (Check out products and downloads page). Works jobs to earn himself a livable wage. contact: firstofkin@hotmail.com twitter: @firstofkin

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