[Either that or some scam, 724 words, Genre: Dark Humour]
* Image courtesy of Dirk de Bruyn
He responded to an advertisement in the newspaper. The advertisement was requesting one armed soldier for nondescript purposes. The man who responded to the advertisement was a Canadian. He had served in the Canadian military as a medic and had since then been underemployed. Underemployed as in he could find employment, he just couldn’t find the sort of employment that would provide him the lifestyle he sought. So he had travelled the world and in fits of desperation, at the end of his tether, he had found the ad in the paper.
The ad in the paper was decidedly a joke posted in the local newspaper by an idiotic Australian man. The Australian man had become that isolated by the circumstances of his own life that he didn’t, or couldn’t, acknowledge the reality of world events around him. So when the soldier replied to the advertisement and made contact with the Australian man in response to how much he would be paid. The Australian man replied with the statement, “Anything you want.” The soldier, thinking that the Australian man was some rich eccentric type packed his bags and headed to Australia to be of service in whatever way he could.
What followed were a bizarre series of communications that ended with the soldier being housed at the estranged Australian man’s mother’s household. He packed his bags and headed for the mysterious island, that continent called Australia.
Upon arrival, he was shown to a room at his mother’s home. The house was small, cramped and the room was synonymous with that description. The soldier, baring a height of over six feet tall had to crouch to get inside the house. The mother, cigarette in hand, as was her chain smoking inclination showed him to the room, “Yeah, Jason mentioned ya’… He said something about it. Shitter’s down the hall. Enjoy.” She closed the door behind him and before the soldier could ask any questions, he was met with solid dissolution.
The next thing that occurred was a meeting with Jason, the estranged Australian man. They met at the local library, Jason had booked a room where he could unravel his plans to the soldier. The soldier, thoroughly pissed off by this time, went to the meeting with the idea in his mind that he would approach the Australian man for the money that he had spent on the plane ticket, return home and leave it at that. He did not want to cause in fuss or nuisance to the situation and military-wise the Australians were considered allies.
At the library he was confronted by Jason. A rambling mad man and as the soldier looked on, Jason rambled about this subject and that subject. The ramblings were so incoherent that the soldier found that he couldn’t even approach the subject of re-establishing the issue of the cost of his plane ticket over there. So after five minutes of standing there, listening to the madman, he grabbed Jason by the hems of his shirt and asked, “Where the fuck is my money!?” All that Jason could manage was a small squeak. Like an animal that had just had its tail stepped upon by accident. The ramblings ceased at that point and the soldier held the madman down, “When will you start speaking sense!? I travelled up here for a job and I get greeted like some sort of… some sort of…” The soldier couldn’t describe his current position.
The soldier walked away at that point. He knew a scam when he saw one and he most definitely had found himself in the trappings of a scam. Either that or the product of some idiot. He stared at the Australian man, Jason… He looked at him, weighed him up, attempted to calculate some sort of meaning from what he was doing.
At that point the soldier walked away. It was obviously the product of some idiot. Either that or a scam… He couldn’t decide which and couldn’t care. He was like every other person on the planet… Fed up with all of the bullshit, there was no joy to be gleamed from all of this crap. There was no reason. And just like everyone else in the world, the soldier had to continue to walk through a mound full of the shit and mundane that was the world.