He was in his early twenties. He was working in a bar and he was hitting on all of the waitresses. He was hitting on them, but with little success. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would be able to sneak in a kiss with one of them here or there. He was not working as a bartender at the time. But as a barback. Cutting the lemons and limes, making condiments to the cocktail drinks. There was a lot of prep work that had to be done before the bar could open at night and that’s the work that he had to do.
After work the bar crew would all get together and have drinks. There was one night. One night when it happened. After the bar had been closed for the weekend. One of the waiters was minding his grandmother’s household. It was a little two bedroom place caught up in the suburbs. And so Bill, the waiter and two of the other bartenders decided to go to the house and get wasted after a week full of work.
They arrived. They bought beers and other things and were drinking. That is when they decided that they needed drugs. Bill knew where he could get some and then went on a mission to get them. He caught a cab and picked up a container full of pot brownies. Then he went back and delivered them to his work colleagues. His work colleagues were disappointed because they wanted something stronger.
So Bill called up his drug dealer who lived in the area. He asked her if she had any ecstasy. Which she did. Just a few pills. Bill told her the address and then she drove to the residence and joined the others. They were all starting to get high because of the brownies. Then his drug dealer produced the pills, to which they all bought.
They were all getting high and doing ludicrous things. Getting high. Climbing on roofs. Running around in circles, getting dizzy.
After a while. They all started to come down off of the effects of the drugs. The waiter and other two bartenders decided to go get some movies from the local video shop so that they could all come down and chill out in front of some films.
But Bill… Bill was horny and so was his drug dealer. He didn’t have any condoms on him. But the inner workings of the beast that lay in the heart of men was at work. He started looking around the grandmother’s home and rifling through drawers looking for something to use. “God damn it! Where are the condoms?”
He was racing around the household looking for condoms, but he couldn’t find any. That is when he stumbled upon it. In one of the kitchen drawers. A roll of glad wrap. He looked at it… Thought about it and then decided, under the circumstances, that it would have to do.
He pulled it out and then went to the bedroom. The waiter’s grandmother’s bed. It was over in a couple of thrusts. And not because Bill had reached climax. It was because he had a moment of self-realization. He had a moment of clarity.
He was having sex in his friend’s grandmother’s bed, using glad wrap instead of condoms. Bill lost three good friends that day, but his drug dealer thought it was hilarious.