[Staying Connected, 636 words, Genre: Dark Humour]
* Image courtesy of Dirk de Bruyn
Wanda was a stout woman. She had a stomach after having lived a lifestyle which included binge watching television, binge eating and a lack of exercise. She was not what one would describe as intelligent. Just like her name, she would wander from place to place, wreaking and sowing havoc wherever she went. She did not have two brain cells to rub against one another to cause enough friction that would be capable of producing a thought.
Her brother became ill in the fall. His lung had collapsed and for the interim period, before surgery, the hospital staff had him on life support to assist his breathing. The doctors confirmed that the surgery was a low risk operation and that her brother would be good as new in a couple of weeks time.
And everything would have been fine if it hadn’t been for Wanda. Wanda drove into the hospital, ignorant of the chaos she was sowing, she almost ran over two pedestrians while looking at her mobile phone whilst driving. One of the pedestrians, upon subjection to the near-death experience had to book themselves into counselling services. It was not unusual for Wanda, completely ignorant of her own impact on the world, to have this effect.
When Wanda arrived at the hospital, she was scrolling through the items on her phone. Nothing important, just the latest merchandise deals and trivial matters that she received in her email inbox. That is when she noticed her battery signal, it was running low. She rushed into the hospital in an effort to find a place where she could recharge her mobile phone.
She approached the receptionist, “Excuse me. Do you have somewhere that I can recharge my phone?”
The receptionist looked at Wanda, from head to toe. Wanda clutched her mobile phone in her hand, small beads of sweat dripping from her brow, she looked as if she desperately needed to use the toilet. Her addiction to the latest technologies was apparent. “No, sorry. Is there anything else that we can help you with?”
It took a moment for Wanda to come into a realization of where she was and why she was there, “Oh, yes. I’m here to see my brother. Do you know what room he’s in?” Wanda gave her brother’s details to the receptionist, who, in turn, directed her to the location of her brother.
Wanda followed the hospital corridors, on the lookout for a power point where she could recharge her mobile phone.
When she entered her brother’s room, she greeted him. To which her brother, hooked up to a life support system, raised his hand in a gesture of acknowledgement over her presence. That is when Wanda saw it. A power point. Of course, the life support machine was plugged into it. But Wanda regarded those facts as inconsequential.
“I’m just going to unplug this so that I can recharge my phone.” Wanda’s brother’s eyes widened at the prospect and he shook his head to signal that she couldn’t do that. But her brother, with a tube shoved down his throat couldn’t speak. He made small gargling noises. “Oh, it will be fine.” Wanda stated.
As she moved towards the power point her brother reached out in an effort to stop her. But she was completely oblivious. And her brother did not possess enough strength to stop her in her actions.
Wanda unplugged the life support system. Plugged in her mobile phone and started scrolling through her email inbox on the device.
Her brother struggled for life, struggled for oxygen, was in death throes. Wanda ignored him, completely consumed by her mobile phone. Within two minutes her brother had lost consciousness. Within five more minutes he was dead.
Wanda looked at one of her emails, “Oh, look at that, K-Mart’s having a sale.”