Two men sat in a room, damp and dark. There was a slow dripping from the roof, it was raining outside, had been for the past week. They had been caught up in the same shit storm, they had both survived it. Now they sat across from one another on the floor. Giving each other looks with embellished eyeballs. They spoke to each other, on and off. It started like this the first day and repeated itself the second. It was the third day and Adam was dreading the conversation. Lionel was about to start up again any moment now. What had happened. Now that they were confronted with the idea that they may very well be the last two people alive. They had food, they had water, they would survive past tomorrow and the day after that. In the end all they had was each other.

“Christ, I wish I had my phone.” Lionel whinged.

“Shut up yer farkin idiot! That’s what got us into this mess in the first place.” Adam threw back in a vulgar tone.

“I hardly think my phone was the problem.”

“It was the problem, you know it and I know it.”

“Everybody had one, how was I supposed to know?”

“It had an image on it. A god damned apple. The apple’s always been forbidden.”

“That’s crazy talk, that is, absolute insanity.”

“Well, have a look at what happened. Instead of people living their lives they just went about living a virtual one. People’s lives became candy crush saga and a long list of stupid distractions. People stopped living their lives and started watching people live theirs’.”

“But it enriched our lives in so many ways.”

“It was basically a portable television. People condemned others for staying at home watching television all the time, so they created a way to take the television with you all the time. Worse than that. You became dependent on it. It was an encyclopedia so you no longer had to think for yourself. You could just ‘google’ it.”

“Christ, I wish I had my phone.”

“Like a farkin broken record you are! Shut up!”

“I hardly think my phone was the problem.”

Adam held his hands over his ears, “Does not compute! Does not compute!”

“Everybody had one, how was I supposed to know?”

“You should have known by the fact that people were making their virtual lives more important than their actual ones. Everyone was caught up in some sort of fantasy, because the fantasy was more important to them than the reality. And it only became more important because people put so much effort into their virtual lives.”

“That’s crazy talk, that is, absolute insanity.”

“Instead of people living their lives in the joy of living their lives, they got caught up in some sort of primal competition with one another. Taking photos of their lives to represent them in the virtual one. All of these experiences that they never really partook in because they were too caught up in capturing the experience to actually live them.”

“But it enriched our lives in so many ways.”

“It enriched your virtual life. Not your actual life. Your actual life was a sham of taking photos and capturing the moment to promote your virtual life. It was a great illusion that everyone perpetuated whilst in competition with one another to show that they were living large.”

“Christ, I wish I had my phone.”

“If it would shut you up, I wish you had your phone as well.”

“I hardly think my phone was the problem.”

Adam raised his hand and pointed his finger at Lionel, “You’re probably right about that. The problem wasn’t the phone. The problem was you being such a bland cunt that you could never contribute anything to the moment, so you had to keep on falling back on your phone to cover up for the boring existence you came to live.”

“Everybody had one, how was I supposed to know?”

Adam looked up at the ceiling and cried out, “God, if you’re there. Kill me. Kill me now!”

“That’s crazy talk, that is, absolute insanity.”

At that point Adam stood up and walked to the window of the room. The window overlooked a three storey drop. Many other people over the past few days had jumped out of that window after engaging in conversation with Lionel. Adam had been the last one to listen to the repetitive series of statements that Lionel came to speak. All across the world this was happening. People were without their phones and without their phones they had driven people to madness that eventuated into suicide. Adam threw himself out of the window and fell to his death. He did manage to turn around and say one last thing to Lionel, “Fark you!”

“But it enriched our lives in so many ways.”

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